I wrote this article a few weeks ago and pondered on whether I ought to post it, or not.
As I summarized my difficulties dealing with disorder and frustrations of life, I pondered the concept of adversity being trivialized by these minor irritations when so many have to deal with serious issues. What right have I to complain?
Then, last Sunday in our Gospel Doctrine class, the teacher was summarizing the deep anxiety experienced by the Prophet Joseph Smith and the Saints of Missouri and why must they suffer so. I even mentioned my own great-grandfather, who as a child of about 8 years endured the expulsion from Missouri to Illinois where his own father perished in the process. Why the adversity? To gain experience and be better for it? Yes, of course, but in the discussion I brought up the issue of dealing with our own minor frustrations, becoming angry and distracted from what is important. She said that those issues are also real.
So, with all that, here it goes....
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Dealing with Disorder
I have joked in my well-known and odd humor that "entropy is not what it used to be," (refering to randomness). At times, I have also commented on how life seems to sometimes be a constant war between friction and gravity (meaning that things stick or drop with little predictability). What my esoteric attempts to be funny really hide is my innate dislike of disorder and randomness which results in my reaction to the unexpected. It is an obsession and a compulsion. I want entropy to stop, and get upset at my inability to avoid the inevitable stubbed toe of life.
No one is to blame, usually, but that makes it even worse. When it is unfair, it helps to convict someone else for their meanness. I am not mad at anyone, so that is not sin. After all, if I get angry at myself, who does it hurt?
Deep down, within me, it becomes a spirit of contention.
The Lord makes it clear that those feelings are not from Him:
"For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another." - 3 Nephi 11:29
Basically, I am stirring up my own heart as I choose to react to my ordinary missteps and the random inconveniences around me.
How can I change? I have consciously, but more often unconsciously, been dealing with this dilemma my whole life.
It is probably this lifetime struggle that prompted me to embrace a scripture, becoming my favorite. It was introduced to me by my semimary teacher many years ago, Keith Perkins, at Granite High school as a senior. It reads:
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean on unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes. Depart from evil." Proverbs 3:5-7
It is not that I DO trust in the Lord that this is my favorite scripture. Quite the contrary, it is because I generally DO NOT trust Him and trip through life condemning random events and try to analyze life's many crooked paths. I don't "acknowledge Him" and don't let Him "direct my paths."
At times, I think about the promise of that day when Satan will be bound and we no longer are tossed about and tempted, and suffer from the bad stuff others inflict upon us. Recently, though, I asked myself whether this random unpredictability of life will be part of what goes away at His coming. That shook me up. We know that we will live in the Millenium with peace and that contention which comes from the devil will be done away, but will we nonetheless live our lives, interacting with others and with "nature," and not suffer from ailments, death and temptation and Satan's incessant twists, and does that mean that the accidental dropping of the fork to the floor, or the tripping on the rug will also never happen again? (Nor will we be made to suffer from extreme run-on sentences?) Will the winds of life not blow that paper off my desk again for one thousand years?
Of course these examples are intentionally silly. Still, it is those things that push me into my angry reactions at times.
Maybe the change that comes — even now, not necessarily waiting for the Savior to come again — must be made within me. What can be done to change the way I react to random, distressing, unplanned, unexpected, annoying, infuriating, unfair, entropic, ... life?
The Lord has promised to "wipe away tears from all faces" (Isaiah 25:8, see also Rev. 7:17 and Rev. 21:4). I am now thinking that perhaps that wiping away of tears involves a change within me that brings those tears to my eyes in the first place. Of course, I do not speak of those real effects of life that bring tears. I mean my own perceptions of life's unfairness that bring disproportional reactions in me. Sometimes the scriptures refer to this as "kicking against the pricks" (e.g. Acts 9:5).
Breathe in, breathe out, calm down. These are such nice words but often are the worst things I want to hear at the moment of distress. What temperance can I learn?
Actually, in a recent conference address I was impressed by the topic of temperance given by Elder Ulisses Soares a few weeks ago. He said, "... cultivating temperance is a meaningful way to protect our souls against the subtle yet constant spiritual erosion caused by worldly influences that can weaken our foundation in Jesus Christ." - Elder Ulisses Soares, October 2025 General Conference
Worldly influences — that fairly well describes what I have summarized here. Considering the world, I also remember reading how the three Nephites were not affected by the world: " the powers of the earth could not hold them," and I wondered what that might have been (see 3 Nephi 29:39). Is that what the Millennium will be like for us? Will the winds not blow the paper off the desk? Will that tissue always land in the rubbish bin when tossed?
I hope to have the effects of the world not hold me, but now perhaps I need to learn how to not let these effects affect me. For that, I need to trust in the Lord and let Him change me so that such insignificant things do not turn my soul away from His redeeming love by my becoming angry.
I am sure that is the answer. It is the Lord who can tame that animal within me that reacts to life's stings, whether they are Satan's attempts to foil me or just some random wind of fate. Either way, my response is key. I pray that the Lord can make me better than I am and trust in Him to lift me above the powers of the earth. I cannot do this by myself. With the grace of my Savior Jesus Christ all things are possible.
- jfb
